Ace of Pentacles... Yay? or Ney?

So my husband got an email yesterday saying he has a job interview he put in for. This job pays twice as much and he doesn't have to climb windmills in below zero temperatures. Just the thought of it is overwhelming. We have been struggling for years now. A slow and steady uphill battle that evidently we are winning. I have been putting everything I have got into my Tarot career... but today I feel different.

I usually steal the moments before my kids wake up and when they are taking naps to work on my pages and try to attract customers. I love this work don't get me wrong but the main drive was to bring in more money for my family. This is what I do... this is what I know.... this was how I was trying to contribute to my families future... but now... it feels so different.

I spent the morning trimming my Deviant Moon deck on the couch with my kids thinking about my future and what I want. The cards point out to me I was doing more than just pondering... there is a monkey on my back. Goddess... Empress is blessing us. Shouldn't I be happy?

The Five of Wands shows that it has created a stir in me. The Judgement card is telling me that this is all part of waking up. I mean... with all the work I do it is weird to think that things are actually going to get better... and that it isn't so crazy to think that things could one day be perfect. 

Some people don't believe that things can be perfect. And that the world and our lives could be too. I do not agree. I think it is not only possible... but coming. 

I feel so lost right now. Feeling my way through the dark.  I should be happy. But I am only left with thinking... "well, now what do I do?"

I love my husband so much. I am so proud of him. He broke his foot last year and it is full of metal. I know that it is physically tasking for him to do his job now. But I know he loves his job. He is a master of fixing things. (Virgo) He loves the freedom and excitement of climbing and fixing windmills. This new job would consist of him working in a warehouse. That just kills me. He is a mechanic and electrician working in a hazardous environment and it pays for shit... but throwing bags off a conveyor belt will pay twice as much. Life makes no sense sometimes. 

The cards promise me that Justice is coming... and that we will truly reap what we sow. I have to not feel despondent about my Tarot career. I work hard and I feel like I am not reaping the rewards but I have to do my best to stay positive. A kind of "I don't know where I am going but I promise it won't be boring" type of thing.    

The cards are urging me not to stop or give up.

I don't know what I am working towards but I know who I am working for. Spirit, humanity, me, my family...

I want to do a two path spread and see what path is the best for my hubby.

Great. This is not what I wanted to hear. I just want my husband to be happy. I know we don't have a lot but we have what we need. I want him to come home feeling good and satisfied. He loves his job right now. The left path is if he stays at his job... right now he feels suspended... waiting. But Spirit says that he is complete. Or perhaps it is saying that this phase in his life is coming to an end. I don;t know I am too attached to the outcome to read objectively. The right path is if he leaves and goes with the new job. This path looks like he will feel stuck. But it does promise to provide. 

This sucks. I know if I tell my husband... the cards say it is a bad idea he will not listen. But my gut is telling me the same. I hate the fact that money is always the deciding factor. I realize we need money to live. I get that... but I don't want to make decisions based off of money. 

I have been working my ass off with Tarot... but I have no idea what I am trying to do. I have no idea what could possibly come of it. Considering I live in the middle of nowhere. If I was back in the city... no problem. Availability alone would make all the difference. Resources. 

But here?

The cards are telling me to give it a rest. That things will work out. I will just have to wait and see. And try my best not to get all worked up about it. I think I just need a break from it all. A break from Tarot. A break from life. 

The thought of having financial freedom is so very very tempting. If my Tarot career had taken me somewhere... anywhere he could stay at his job and I would make up the difference. 

Again the cards say to relax, take time for Spirit to do its work, count my blessings and get this fricken monkey off my shoulder because the solution is there. I just cannot see it at the moment. 

"Your right hand is the hand in which you give. Imagine that it is constantly reaching out, offering some part of you or your experiences as its gift. When you do not learn to receive as easily as you give, soon you run out of resources for anyone including yourself. Remember not to give yourself away"

Just hearing this makes me mad. I know I give a lot... but trust me... I am so willing to receive. Or at least I think I am. But perhaps I don't. How does one go about changing this? 

""By drawing this card you are about to embark into the unknown and a direction that you never considered. Remember that the direction can change without notice but that in those changes is the perfection of the rhythm of all creation"

I just have to trust that we will make the right choices when we have to. 

"You are being called to get back into balance. Parts of your life are not serving you and in fact are draining your resources. Shed what no longer serves and allow the gentle balance within the harmony of the One to fill you until you overflow and that harmony touches everything around you."

I think my problem is that if he does take the new job and we start making more money. I will no longer have the drive I do now in my own Tarot career. Right now my drive is to help support my family. But if that is taken away.... then what?

Yup this is me. I want me and my husband to be happy doing what we do. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. That responsibility sometimes renders him stressed and withdrawn. If he does not like his job... then it will effect the family. I don't want to see that happen to our future. I call out to Goddess. Please hear me. 

I don't know what I want. I have no idea what you want of me. All I know is I want to be fulfilled and happy. I want our family to be full of love and happiness. I want to be provided for not only our needs but to flourish and enjoy everything that life has to offer because I know we would be grateful. I enjoy helping people... but I have to admit I do give myself away. It is easy for us to blame you when we do not get in return. I don't know right now how to change and bring myself back into balance... but I know that you will help show me the way. Thanks for never giving up on me. 

  

Deck Review The Wild Unknown Tarot

I have been wanting to write a review on this deck for a week now. I cannot tell you enough how much I love this deck. From the first time I opened it... it was love at first sight.

I bought the cards and you have to buy the companion book separate but I assure you the book it not needed. I have a mind hard wired for Tarot. Some would say I read very Masculinely (If that is even a word) because I only use my intuition that fits within the system. Yes it may sound rigid but I prefer to be accurate. Perhaps over time once I can say I've been reading for 30 years then I think I might rely on my intuition more. But these cards were so amazing. Each card is beautiful and the artist uses grey scale and color throughout the deck. If anyone does energetic work and wants a deck this one would be fabulous.

The Fire in the Wands suit is breathtaking. Here you see the King of Wands, the Ace of Wands and the Sun. You can see how the use of Black and White and color easily shows intensity in the images. 

Here we have the Six of Cups. Isn't it beautiful! This image made me think of what it takes to grow strong roots. Roots being childhood and the past. In this image you need strong roots in order to grow healthy in life. 

But then when it comes up reversed it has such a different message. Perhaps someone didn't have the best childhood. It was dark and meek. But it is always the pressure that makes us sparkle. 

The Lovers and Death cards. I love love love the Lovers card. Showing geese migrating along the Earth's magnetics. It takes the lovey dovey mushyness out of the Lovers card when you see how it represents being in tune with nature. The undivided self. 

This is possibly my favorite Death card ever. It does not tip toe around the message. It is dead. Rotting and returning from where it came from. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. 

I always love the Three of Pentacles. It is a natural gift, a passion, and a skill. This image got me so excited. I moved from Illinois to Wyoming a couple years ago. Elevation: 6,673 ft.  I have done more work being here than I have my entire life. That is what happens when you have  lot of time on your hands. 

The Four of Wands. I love the black and white for the solid form and stability and the color for the light that creates it. Grounding Spirit into matter. 

The Three of Wands and the Two of Pentacles. I love this Two of Pentacles because it makes you realize that when life calls you to just go with the flow you are changing during that process. That life is a continual process of metamorphosis. You might feel like you are just doing your day to day things... but there change taking place on all levels. 

When I get a new deck I always shuffle out on card to see what I will learn from working with this deck. I got the Nine of Swords Reversed. 

Torture. Looks like it doesn't it? This deck is telling me that I can not think so much. That there is a point within me that knowledge springs from... and I don't always have to logically figure it out. That I don't have to put everything in black and white. That sometimes the color has just as much valid information. 

The Light shines so clearly through this deck. A new way of thinking is mastered. We no longer get carried away in our imagination. We are not going indulge our feelings anymore by letting them dictate our thoughts. We have to be aware of where we are focusing our power. What we are creating. I just had a very rad reading so I am pretty excited. I had stopped from the picture above and just came back with this spread.  So even my energy is focused elsewhere and the cards show it. The Two of Cups. What we believe truly creates our reality. That was the lesson of her reading. 

I have been doing more and more readings. I do this from home. How awesome it is to work from home and to be able to be home for my kids. Instead of having someone else raise them in daycare. I have transformed. Like the moth to the flame I seek the light. I teach people to do the same. I inspire people. 

There is a primordial Earth energy that we can tap into that creates our reality. It is the Serpent Fire energy. It is our personal power. It is this energy that roots us in reality. We must channel this energy from our Sacral Creative Sexual point down through our Root and deep into the Earth. 

We are building bridges between our conscious and subconscious minds.  We are allowing creation to be done from the heart and not the male brain. But the female one. 

A re-shuffle and draw and we get the same cards... plus the Empress. 

We are reconsidering where we draw resources from. No longer a slave to our conditioning we can re program ourselves. There is healing through heart to heart communication. We need relationships in our lives. We need interaction. It is the best mirror into our subconscious. Striving to dig deeper than ever before. 

"The raven is symbolic of mind, thought and wisdom according to Norse legend, as their god Odin was accompanied by two ravens: Hugin who represented the power of thought and active search for information. The other raven, Mugin represented the mind, and its ability to intuit meaning rather than hunting for it. Odin would send these two ravens out each day to soar across the lands. At day's end, they would return to Odin and speak to him of all they had spied upon and learned on their journeys."

This makes me think of the relationship between the Hierophant and the High Priestess. One is more male and actively searches for information in the external world and the other is a feminine reception of information from Spiritual Subconscious means. The invisible bridge to the Moon. 

The Emperor  is the Black and White. The Empress brings the color. The Emperor looks like a Pine Tree to me. It looks all linear and boring. It the Conscious mind where the Devil reigns. The rational logical way to go about life. Then you have the Moon. Where Magic lives. Where things happen that are irrational. The more rigid your Hierophant the less room you allow magic to create.

"Those who do not believe in Magic will never find it."

You have to establish a logical goal and then focus on it. Not the steps... just the goal. And believe that it is possible. 

Our thoughts effect our emotions. And our emotions direct our actions. As Above, So Below. It is about bringing everything into balance. 

I pulled this card again to finish with. Lord of Completion. The manifestation of balanced forces, resulting in the fulfillment of earlier hopes, ideas and dreams. The number Four is a Square representing order in the Universe to build a sturdy stable structure. 

Heaven on Earth :)

Mind over Matter

I am on day two of exploring yoga. Yesterday I did some Tai Chi and this morning my legs hurt. So today I am studying. With my hubby being home I actually get to sit from start to finish so this is exciting.

"The most recent research has proven that muscles have their own consciousnesses and memory. The aim of Martial Arts includes maximum development and strengthening of muscular consciousness and memory  so as to enable these two elements to exercise their special responsive functions after conscious intent has gradually withdrawn." Mind over Matter: Higher Martial Arts by Shi Ming

When studying PTSD it is said that the body remembers everything. During fight or flight moments our body becomes conditioned to the stimulus. Unconscious triggers result in automatic physical reactions in the future. Movement of the body can sometimes trigger stuck emotional memory of the muscles. When this happens in the presence of a trained healer it can be a liberation.

"Higher consciousness perception is the transformation of motor activity into consciousness  and the transformation of consciousness into motor activity (or into power), through the interaction and mutual reconstruction of the musculature and consciousness."

Martial Arts is a wonderful discipline. Higher Martial Arts aims to refine consciousness.  Consciousness operates on all four stages at once. Earth, Air, Fire, Water... an Earth based Ego Consciousness, Air based Thought Consciousness, Fire based Spiritual Consciousness, and Water based Emotional Consciousness.

Opening and refining consciousness through our mind, our hearts, our bodies and our spirits. By acknowledging the wisdom that truly resides in our bodies we can tap into our inner power.

When I think of Martial Arts I always think of Tiger's Eye.

A stone of the Sacral and Solar Plexus it mimics the essence of Higher Martial Arts:

Chakras - Sacral Chakra, Solar Plexus Chakra

Zodiac - Capricorn

Planet – Sun

Element – Fire, Earth

Combining Earth energy with that of the Sun it draws Spiritual energy down to the Earth, while still keeping you centered here on the ground. Tiger Eye helps to raise vibrations, while also connecting these higher energies to the lower Chakras, keeping you feeling in balance and connected when working with higher goals. 

Protection - Clear thinking - Personal empowerment - Integrity - Willpower - Practicality - Grounding - Power - Courage - Grace

The Sacral Chakra is our Sexual Center. It is the point from which we create. From the Root of our Base Chakra from Earth we move into Water. From Stability we have movement. From the Material world we move into Emotions and Relationships. 

The Sacral Chakra is where healing takes place. This is the point from which we can easy flow with the current or we try to control everything. It is the womb from which life is born from. A healthy Sacral Chakra means we are open, aware, abundant, fertile, feeling, postitive... but an unhealthy one will feel guilt, jealousy, obsessive controlling thoughts and behavior, inability to let go, depression, sexual issues, trauma, over or under eating, money issues, and become emotionally dependent on others. 

It is about honoring your body, your needs, and freedom of creative expression. It then flows up to your Solar Plexus where your Power center is. Water meets Fire. Intellect, Ambition, Will, Power, Individuality, Self-worth, Ego and Personality are the Solar Plexus. 

Martial Arts is learning to use Will rather than force. Which is the Strength Card in Tarot. 

Royo Tarot

Also known as Fortitude. Noun: Courage in pain or adversity. The Symbolism in the card shows that there is an infinite resource of Strength and Courage within us. The woman in the picture depicts our inner feminine side. Most cards show a passive woman with a powerful lion in a trance like state allowing her to open its massive jaws. This card shows a little bit more aggression on her part than usual but I like that. It shows that our inner forces are where true strength comes from. 

The Solar Plexus linked to Leo and the Sun. This is about taming our primal urges. It is about using our higher facilities to govern our lower animal like natures.

I can see why the Universe is wanting me to work on these two Chakras. We just bought our house and now we are firmly rooted in the ground. I spent all my life working on my higher Chakras. Now it is time to put them all together. 

When the Solar Plexus is functioning correctly, we are tolerate and accepting of ourselves and others, confident and strong willed. You have good self-esteem and respect. You can say no and honor your boundaries. It allows you to manifest your goals and balance the spiritual and material worlds. 

Martial Arts depicts this as Ying and Yang.  Or feminine and masculine sides. The seen and the unseen. The inner and the outer. As above so below. Positive and Negative. Sun and the Moon. 

When the Solar Plexus is damaged or un-evolved you fear power. Your power and the power of others. Or you feel the need to dominate or control. Anger, ego-focused, a need for material security, feeling a lack of choice, or a need to be constantly active. 

It is our ability to move forward in life with power and confidence... with the ability to control our lower selves. Each Chakra working in unison and communicate to each other. We do not judge from our mental facilities only... instinct has a lot to do with making good choices. But these Chakras have got to be able to consult our higher selves. 

"As stated above, psychophysical coordination means that consciousness and the body no longer disconnect with constitutional changes  involved in each movement or action. Thought and intent are no longer simply commanding officers giving out orders and examining the results of battle; they are warriors directly involved in battle from start to finish, working in unison, combining their power without interruption."

Shi Ming goes on to explain that when we are children we have no division in cognitive and physical communication. But as we all know the journey of being human is the forming of ego consciousness then blending it with higher consciousness. 

Different doctrines call the process by different things. The Bible calls it turning from God. A Pagan would call it disconnecting from nature. A psychologist would call it integrating the shadow side or the ego. It is a part of self-actualization. The Microcosm and the Macrocosm. Who I am in a small sense and who I am in the universal sense. A part of the whole. 

This particular Martial Arts book says this, "Only by relinquishing the ego can one realize the true self; only by getting rid of conscious intention can one attain true intent; only by forgetting the small self can on find the infinite self. This is the reward that refinement of consciousness will bring to the human body and mind; and this is its most valuable gift to human kind."

Doing energy work requires training. Whether you do Martial Arts or read Tarot the concepts are the same. You are an energy bender. You can transmute energy. 

This book explains how you can use consciousness to refine consciousness. It also describes how to use Division, "Interruption", and Combination as a means to refine consciousness. 

"Division" means to separate the intent from vitality, energy, at any given time."  

This is exciting to read. To understand the nature of division of consciousness meaning that you can facilitate the combination. Between mind and spirit and then therefore body.

Alchemy. Magic.... Art? Science? 

"First consciousness moves, then power moves (and then they physical body moves); this indicates insubordination in the relationship among the three elements in dynamic thought, but this is not the order that occurs when going into action."

"Operate energy by mind, operate the body by energy; then you can conveniently follow the mind."

Once one masters these concepts one must be pretty sure they are fully aware of their intent. Our lower based ego intent is self serving and power hunger by Tempering it with the Higher selves we can bring insight, reason, love, and communication to our instincts and basic survival needs. 

I am really excited to be studying the Art of the Body in regards to the mind body and spirit now. It is obviously the next step for me.