Blogging Since I Have 10 Hours Left On My Facebook Block

So I woke up this morning and Facebook blocked me... again. I have ten hours left on my block. I guess that is enough motivation to blog then. I didn't even think it was that bad. I have a hard time with "appropriate" and even I get a little squeamish with some of the crap I see on Facebook. It is okay to show a mangled dog or a beaten child but not this:

"I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy."

It is not the worst thing I have seen posted on Facebook. Maybe it was the nipples. Yup probably the nipples. Whatever I hate rules. Life is grey. 

I am always getting in trouble. Teachers hated me. Bosses fired me. I don't like to be told what to do. I think this post is sexy and sensual. Of course my head was geared towards Tarot. The roles of the Feminine and Masculine and how they are tempered together not through force but through vulnerability. I suppose if you are a prude or easily offended you would find this vulgar. That would be sad. I think the younger generation has no clue what making love is all about. 

Let's see what my Oracle has to say about the situation. 

Interesting. So my Oracle says Sexuality: Openness  Sharing, Beauty, and Honour. I really like that last one. Honour. Very nice. (Uh Oh nipples again... divert your eyes!) Relationships: Intimacy, Freedom, Acceptance, and Trust. And then there is Choice: Freewill, Courage, Willpower and Change. Weird. 

The first two cards are from Sacral Chakra. This Chakra is about our emotions, relationships, Control, Sensuality, Pleasure, Desires, Sexuality, Creativity, and Healing. 

Society allows this Chakra to be severely abused. I remember my sex ed class. Yikes. I think that class could use a holistic make over. We can watch woman objectify themselves all day long on tv and internet ads but show anything of true intimacy and people get uncomfortable.  They are desensitized and blind to the truth. It is amazing what people can justify.  

The last card seems odd to me. This card is based out of the Solar Plexus. Our power center. I suppose it is trying to say that when the Sacral Chakra is dishonored then it is the Solar Plexus that is next to be wounded. Our trust is taken away. Our ability to love ourselves and others. The abuse literally takes our freedom away. Our freedom of expression. Our self esteem and self worth is wounded. Our power is taken away.  It is about control. 

This card speaks of choices. That we all make choices everyday that shapes our lives and even the lives around us. You are in control at all times. That is called owning your power.

Now that I drew these cards I realize how pissed I am over the whole thing. I hate censorship. It is a slap in the face to free expression as an artist. Like I said everything is grey. I feel stifled and stuck. Like they are making me behave. I hate that. The Angel of Time is telling me I am working too hard. The Angel of Alchemy says that there is a Miracle on the way. You guys have been telling me this for a while now I am sick of waiting. 

I am an artist and I want freedom of expression. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Life is full of grey not right and wrong. 

Daily Spreadwork January 13th, 2013

"When we want believe the world around us is a safe predictable place we act by trying to control everything around us. What we often don't realize is that control is an illusion, a mental act made either consciously or subconsciously that attempts by our direction to assure that the outcome would meet our personal expectations. Often hand in hand with control comes anger. Anger because the results may not be what we had in mind. Expectation are a sure set to get only what we imagined or less because there is no room in that creative process for anything else to occur. The anger comes from frustration from feeling lack of control. Control is a sure fire way to stay disappointed and also a way to feel more and more insignificant as time goes on."

""You tend to become stubborn and unmoving when it comes to change. Mainly this is because you don't like what you don't know, and the unknown often feels unsafe. If you have received this card it speaks to you of letting go of your fear of change, your control issues and learning to be more flexible."

"Everything that is, was or could be possibly be exists in every moment. All that you ever need is available to you. You are an intricate part of all creation, perfectly and uniquely harmonized to immeasurable possibilities, communicating boldly, and you are being heard."

It is only a matter of time until the storm breaks. Everything is chaos. Nothing makes sense. But me. It is truly an important end and a new beginning. As if today was the first day of the rest of my life. I am letting go more and more and change spares no time re-arranging our lives. 

I am growing. I am growing emotionally in ways that I must admit I have resisted for a long time. 

"She feels uncertain about how she will perform when she is elevated and unsure of whether she can wield her power. She is very thoughtful as she contemplates the future- but all around her are the symbols of her future success."

We bought the house. We did it. There is a old brick post office on the lot just waiting for me to get to work in. I have found my independent since yesterday and now this is for me and me alone. We fear what is great inside ourselves. 

The signs are with you already. I can choose to feel that I am in chaos or I can choose to gain control of myself and do what is right in front of my face. To get in step with the life that is building up all around me. 

The time has come. For change. For something new. Letting go is hard. It is a loss. When it is a loss of love it is even more hurtful. But we grief and then we are that much more free to see the Truth. 

I have a choice right now. I can either choose to feel stuck, frustrated, and hurt or I can choose to see the higher view which I know deep down I am capable of seeing. I can choose to focus on my emotional pain or I can choose to temper them and focus on what could be. Master my thoughts and get excited for what is right around the corner. Use all my power and strength to find peace in the situation. 

When things are taken away from us it only means that there is something better on the way. I have to believe that right now. In fact I think this calls for the big guns. I don't often use them unless I really really really want to hear the Truth. I also think since I pulled the Nautilus Shell Princess and in the picture in my Ammonite I feel it is fitting. 

What does my future hold?

I went to the rock shop yesterday and got more sage and some protection oil. I took my Abalone Shell and crinkled the sage in there. I want to clear these thoughts. I want to clear these emotions. I dripped the oil over the top and envisioned a soap bubble all around me. Get out you little nasties. What is done is done and now it is over. These are my Ocean Oracle. It reveals our true nature. Not for the faint of heart. 

Now it is time to see what my subconscious has to tell me. 

65- Something completely out of one's control; something spoiled. 

44- Looking for the gift connected to the situation; beauty from irritation.

14- Vigilance; keeping an eye out for danger.

108- Being taken for granted; being treated like slave labor; being unappreciated. 

9- Demanding obedience.

"How do you know who to trust when you love everybody?" I suppose if I learned anything from the situation is (like yesterday's message) be careful who you trust. I guess that is one of the sad facts of being alive... but I'm getting better at it everyday. 

 

If You are Reading this Please Feed my Fishies....

If You are Reading this Please Feed my Fishies.... Thank you.

Daily Spreadwork January 12th 2013

My spreadwork for the day. First card is Self-Expression (Vocalization, Individuality, Inner Voice, and Assertiveness). The little birdie sings his heart out. His own unique sound. I love the rings of vibration that echo from him into the world. It has been a long long road for me to unchain my individuality. I have a lot of it. It takes a lot of courage. 

Today is going to be a great day. I get to go to the rock shop to re-stock my supplies. I am completely out of Sage and that is a no good situation. So I got the Four of Wands to represent the happiness of getting things that help me bring my spirituality down to earth. I love rocks, herbs, and candles and all sorts of goodies to work on the physical plane so below. 

The Knight of Swords and the Ten of Swords show how far I have come since my issue with my friend. It is over. 

Losing a friend is hard and it definitely thrust me into chaos with the Fool but the dust is settling and now I am able to re-build my life with the King of Pentacles. He brings order.

Death lays above the Fool and is reinforces the Ten of Swords. It is done. Gone. And now I can rest with the Four of Swords. 

The Knight of Cups above me is about the adventures I am going to go on with my kids today. I love taking them to the rock shop... it is exactly what I need to infuse myself with love again. 

It is EXACTLY what I need to get movement away from this ennui I have been feeling. And a chance to do something fun with my kids. Represented in the Four of Cups and the Page of Cups. 

I am surrendered. Whatever happens happens. I am willing to get new perspectives on things. On my life. The Two of Cups is fun because I know that when I visit the rock shop I am guaranteed to be around my kind of people. That is what I need right now. 

I am so excited to see that TWO Knight of Wands shows up to say that today is a day for Spirit, Action, and movement. Perfect. Just what the doctor ordered. 

There are only two Major Arcana present today. Death that is passing away and the Hanged Man. Universe take what you must. I am willing and waiting. 

Silence (R)- You often become fearful in your decision making process. Will you choose the right thing to do? How will others feel about your decisions and what if you make a mistake? There are no mistakes only opportunities to choose again. With this fear approach situations in your life with the need to fill them with words, reasons, even excuses for why things aren't working for you. The guidance you seek has already arrived within you and now is the time to be still and listen so that you will know without a doubt what you r next steps will be and whatever you choose will be perfect in this now. 

Gateway: The Portal- In every reality there are doorways to other dimensions. These doorways open and close with the natural rhythm of creation. When they are open they can be entered with ease, but once entered, they don't always lead to the same destination. By drawing this card you are about to embark into the unknown and a direction that you never considered. Remember that the direction can change without notice but that in those changes is the perfection of the rhythm of all creation. 

Everything from Nothing- The Truth is that nothingness doesn't exist and everything does. Whatever you mean to create will organize out of the heart of creation as soon as the command to do so is made by you and fueled by your passion. The resources for your direction are endless. 

I suppose this is a prod to me with the Self-Expression card. I am afraid to make decisions. I am afraid of making mistakes. Probably because I have made so many in my life. I need to just act more. By doing more and thinking about it less I can move creation along faster. I just need to keep doing what I love and everything will be fine. 

The Present Situation- The Wizard: Use Your Skills to Aid Others. A sage philosopher and advisor, the wizard is also a skilled practitioner of the known sciences and the art of magic. He possesses a mysterious and charming demeanor. The wizard's power is derived from secret knowledge. Use your skills to aid others and you will achieve great things. 

I'm workin on it. 

Concerns Health and Physical Well-being- The Gate: A Barrier Keeps you From You Goal.

The gate represents an unavoidable obstacle that stands between you and your goal. The gate may not be opened without the proper key, however, once unlocked, it leads to a desirable place. 

Grrr. Wonderful. I will draw a card to see what THAT is all about in a minute when I am done. 

Represents Love and Friendship in your Life- The Wolf: Beware Who You Trust

A relentless hunter, the wolf is both feared and respected. This beast is selective yet extremely loyal in matters of friendship. Follow your instincts. Beware who you trust. 

Wonderful. Sounds relevant to my current situation. It is difficult to listen to your instincts when you love everyone. I got to work on this. 

Represents an Immediate Concern- Medusa: Jealousy Leads to Downfall

Medusa represents envy and a corruption of beauty. This tragic mythical being may also signify an act of jealous rage, exile, or harsh punishment. Excessive jealousy leads to downfall. 

Hmmmmm. I am just going to graze over that one for now... but I know exactly what it is talking about.

Represents Spiritual Harmony- The Queen: Love and Prosperity

The Queen represents a dominant female figure. She is a respected and refined woman who is sympathetic and nurturing, yet emotionally confident. The Queen also represents love, prosperity, and fertility. 

Yay!!! Very good advice to focus on. 

Signifies Wealth and Material Prosperity- The Sphinx: Choose your Words Carefully

The Sphinx poses a perplexing riddle. Your abilities will be tested. A difficult problem requires contemplation. Don't act on impulse. Choose your words carefully before you speak. 

Hmmm. Well that gives me a mixed message from the two Knight of Wands in my earlier spread now doesn't it. I guess there is a difference between action and running your mouth. Note to self: Keep mouth shut. Got it. Wait and the self-expression card too!!! Hmmmm. I guess the test is to express myself without malice. 

I am being tested right now. How I handle my situation. What's done is done and I need to leave it in the past and let it die. If I do not I risk pushing the Wheel in the wrong direction. It is a small town and there are eyes and ears everywhere. Focus on my abilities of helping others and keep it at that. 

My life is pretty sweet. 

"So things have been rough for a little while now, and there seems to be a place where flow happens, but you can't find your way into the stream. Have no doubt your life can be sweet and sound as honey, as healthy, strong, and productive as a bee, as busy doing something you love as they, the inertia and feeling of being left out of one of life's secrets will have lifted! Abundance, golden times, essential oils, and flower therapies- you will soon be in heaven on earth again with the sweet bee as your familiar for this time. Let the bee show you ancient wisdom- and if you listen, they will show you where the honey is!"

Sweetness! Bring it on. 

Layering in a Spread Using Different Decks

I want to show you guys how to use several decks and how to layer cards in a spread. So first I want to pull one Oracle card that will be the center of the reading. I am pulling from my Shadow and Light Oracle.

I pulled the Dried Flower Fairy (Sweet Memories). Right away the cards are delving into the past. Think in terms of our dried prom courage.  The things that are long gone but the keepsakes stay to help us remember.

Now I want to explore further on what the cards are trying to tell me. So I am going to pull cards for the Four Directions.

So here we go. I have a confession to make. I am having a personal issue. It is on the forefront of my mind. So naturally the cards are going to pick this up. I am resistant to it... which is probably why the cards are putting it in my face. Which is probably why I was resisting blogging today. Why the cards were not being cooperative. They wanted to deal with the issue at hand... and I did not. 

The Five of Wands comes up because I got into a fight with my best friend last week. It has produced a Spiritual battle within myself. I have been trying to deny it... something I often do. 

In the past the Moon comes up to say that Fear was a big part of the issue. The Moon is about inner demons.  Suffering from phobias. Being overcome by anxiety. Allowing our imagination to run wild. Confused and lost in the dark. My best friend is going through a really hard time right now. She is a Scorpio... and me being an Aquarius, the alignments of the planets right now spell out trouble. She is deep feeling and I am very detached. This, of course, is a very bad combination. Mars in Aquarius. Saturn in Scorpio. Uranus in Aries. 

The cards encourage me to bring clarity to the situation with the Ace of Swords. To really dig into it and be done with it with the Ten of Swords. Okay Tarot... I really didn't want to go here... but you give me no choice. 

So now I want to explore deeper. I am going to use my Legacy of the Divine Tarot to dig out more information from the existing cards. 

Okay. So. With the Five of Wands comes the 7 if Wands. A very very fiery situation. The root of the situation is about standing up to your convictions. Being aggressive. Feeling attacked. Having a fixed position. Now you can see that the two cards together show that it is a conflict involving a kind of king of the mountain scenario. 

Now we move over to the Moon and the Three of Cups reversed shows up. This card is about friendship and community. Coming together. It being reversed shows that the confusion of the Moon has drove a wedge between our friendship. 

The Six of Swords comes up with the Ace of Swords to say... get some clarity so you can move past this. 

The Sun reversed along side of the Ten of Swords really shows the path that I am on. I can't think straight. I am very scatter brained and the illumination of the Sun has not rose yet on the situation. So basically... still stuck in the Moon phase. 

I will now lay a card crossing the Fairy to see what the True challenge is.

Using my Shaman Tarot I pulled the Four of Stones. Also known as the Four of Cups. "Sacred Smoke: Expectations and the fear that they will fly away, like smoke. Dissatisfaction, the need for inner purification."

Now that the cards have mapped out the situation. I am going to layer around the spread and ask the cards for the best way to handle the situation using my Dreaming Way Tarot. Then using my Madame Endora's Fortune Cards I am going to lay a card in each quadrant to show the outcome of this advice. 

Okay. So. In the Root we pulled the Chariot reversed. Now this is laid over the the Five of Wands and the Seven of Wands. The situation is out of control. Wrong use of energies. Wrong use of force. Being willful but unjustifiably. But overall moving in a different direction. No flexibility. Hot tempered and impulsive. 

The Five of Swords reversed came up over the Moon and the Three of Cups (R). Despair after defeat is the theme of this card. It being reversed sends me a message to allow myself to walk away. Not to engage in battle. 

The card in between is the Maiden: A New Relationship Blossom. This is hard for me to read. It is very heartbreaking thinking that maybe the cards are telling me that by letting go of this friendship I make space in my life for a new one. (we will draw more cards on it to make sure).

Then the Two of Swords reversed comes up over the 7 of Swords and the Ace of Swords. Don't force things. Don't even try to figure it out. Now is not the time. 

The middle card is Love: True Love and Fidelity. I think this card says that if you lay low the Truth will come naturally. If the friendship is true it will prevail.... if not.... you don't need it anyways. 

The Ten of Swords and the Sun (R) got the Devil (R). Resist temptation. The Devil is at work here and you don't want to have any part of it. By getting involved you are just feeding the Fear. That is what it wants. 

Between the two is the Mystic Circle: Your abilities will be enhanced. It represents Spiritual and Occult beliefs. You are empowered and protected. Focus energy on your main goal. 

I think this card says to stop feeding it energy and put that energy to where it will be more useful. 

And the final card is the Winds of Change: Your surroundings Will undergo a Transition. I feel as if a crow bar has been thrown under my feet as I am running. I feel this changes everything. 

Now I will draw another card over each Endora card to get more clarification. Then I will draw a single card in the middle again to sum up the direction I really need to take from my Shapeshifter Oracle. 

So over the Maiden I got the Nine of Cups (R). Showing that I need to look for relationships that give me a sense of fulfillment and happiness. 

Over the Love card I drew the Knight of Cups (R) showing again that the situation is fickle and unreliable. It is a lesson to me to be cautious on whom I choose to love. Since when I do I tend to give it my all. 

The Empress comes up over the Mystic Circle to say that I can now focus on better things... like my family. Put the energy I put toward her back into the people who will never go anywhere and need me the most. 

The Queen of Wands comes up over the Winds of Change. Urging me to re-claim the fire that was put out in me. To regain my confidence. 

The center card is the Unending Sadness of Looking Back. Endless regret, obsessive grief, replaying the past, negative nostalgia. The card says, "knock that shit off." Things are changing... and you have to move with them. Grieving over what is gone will get you nowhere. It will only keep you from moving forward. 

I love having friends. When I do find a friend I value it very much. The Universe is telling me that that energy is going to be needed elsewhere in the future. 

So... if I let go of this and focus on my work and family... what will I be left with?

One last card for the center. 

You are independent and free. *Sigh*  

"This is a time for you to go within, into some kind of wilderness and wild place, whether this place is within you, or one that exists in the world. It is time for you to become self-reliant, quiet, stealthy, aware. You must take your place as a being who can survive, and who can support themselves. You may see this as a test or hardship, but it is a great moment of coming into your power. You have your quiver, your arrows and bows, and the companionship of the animals, the hounds, the deer and the trees. This way you will grow in valour, and connect more and more to the cycles of this world. Artemis is the God of self-sufficiency. It is time to strip myself to the basics for a time. To find my independence and strengths."

It is true. I relied a lot on her. She was in my life on a daily basis. Most days I felt like she was a drug I needed in order to survive. I needed her fix. The Universe does not support these type of dependencies. So it was only natural for the Universe to rip her from me. But it is only to help me learn that I am all I need. Everything else is luxury... and when this lesson is complete I will truly be able to appreciate those luxuries as they are and not necessities. 

Sucks. Bad. It is sad. Good thing I am a cold hearted Aquarius... otherwise this might have killed me. But no... I am a survivor. I have gone through worse than this and I am still here. The sooner I let this go the sooner I will be able to see what is around the corner with the Winds of Change. The sooner I re-kindle my fire the sooner I will find happiness again. 

The Signs Are Already With You.... Bitch Please

Just when you find a little more light within you to shine is when the darkness lashed out at you. We just celebrated buying our first home. What a wonderful feeling! Then, two days later, our car breaks down.... again. We bought a lemon. We have payments and we have already sunk $5,000 in repairs and now it is broken AGAIN.... *sigh*

I eat challenges for breakfast. Also, it is a perfect way to show how the Tarot can work for you. So I started shuffling the cards and three of them jumped out of the deck onto the floor. 

So the Death, the Hermit, and the Six of Wands. 

Death and destruction. Change. Harsh fate which does not consider personal feelings. It is the organic endings of things. It is when things are ripped from us... not by our own choice. Death is a profound change and new situations but comes with the sting of loss.

Ruling planets are Mars and Pluto. Pluto is the God of the underworld and Mars is the God of War. These energies are transforming by hostility. It is a Water element which means that it is going to effect us emotionally.  Death is number Thirteen in the Major Arcana; hence why the number 13 is always considered unlucky. 

The Hermit has so many many meanings to me right now. The Hermit's Lamp of Knowledge he carries is a magical receptacle for all the knowledge and wisdom he has acquired through many years of study and meditation and the staff represents the weight of his experience, upon which he leans for support.

This car has been the worst learning experience we have had thus far. It is these lessons in life that turn into wisdom later on. I mean isn't wisdom healed pain after all?

Both my Dad and my Husband are Virgos. Virgo is associated with the Hermit. I rely on these two men in my life for everything. They have been the ones there for me all my life. As much as I want to believe that I am independent and strong when I am dealing with these two men I turn into a stupid incompetent Fool. 

The Six of Wands gives me a great message saying WE WILL PREVAIL!!!!

Jupiter in Leo. It is pretty much a guarantee of honor and acclaim. This is where Leo is at its best in the second decan of Leo. Also called "Lord of Victory".  Jupiter is linked to the Wheel of Fortune which tells me to stay centered and see the big picture. 

Thanks Tarot but I still don't feel right about it. I am a hard case and I need the message hammered in my head in order to keep the Devil away. 

Okay so here we go. I drew out some cards from my Shadow and Light Oracle, Chakra Insight Oracle, and my trusty Robert Hanson Deck. 

The center card being the Heart Chakra sends me a message to bring love to the situation. Which is pretty obvious until we are in between a rock and a hard place. We forget. We get scared. Our heart closes and our minds are allowed to run amok. 

The cards say don't forget what you know deep down. The Snow Angel says, "The Signs Are Already With You". I call this my Bitch Please card. I do. I do know. This was a bad purchase. It was a mistake on our part and now we are paying for it. Literally. 

But I also KNOW that things are getting better and that I know deep down that opportunities are coming my way very soon. The Ace of Swords warns me to watch my thoughts and gain clarity through the fog of the Fairy of the Divine Hand. This Fairy says, "Intoxication, Distorted View, Overindulgence."

This card is all about feeding the Fear. When we are twisted up and can't see things clearly for what they really are. A battle against our addictive behavior. We push the Wheel of Fortune whether we want to believe it or not by our choices. If we feed our lives with negative energy we push the Wheel of Fate against ourselves. We must always choose to produce as much positive energy regardless of our circumstances to push the Wheel in the right direction.

The Knight of Cups reinforces the Heart Chakra card by saying love will come in and help... but only if I allow it to. 

The Strange Valentine card says that Love is strange... and indeed it truly is. It is easy to get hurt and blame the world when things like this happen. Oh God why have you forsaken me type of thing. We are but small creatures in a big Universe. Sometimes things have to go wrong here and there now to make a better tomorrow. That takes a level of understanding that people used to call Faith. 

The King of Pentacles comes in to reinforce the Snow Angel to say... good things are coming. You are being given an opportunity to master your world. The material world. The physical plane.  Stay grounded and know that those opportunities on the horizon are coming and when they do this problem will no longer be.

The outcome is the Knight of Wands, Five of Wands, and the Ace of Wands.

Crazy huh?

Did you notice I got all Earth, Air, Fire and Water?

The Pink Lotus Fairy tells me it is time for Spirit. Spirit will keep those demons at bay. I know better. This is a time to invest MORE Faith and trust my understanding. 

Three last cards from my Shaman Tarot. Temperance. Ahhhhh yes. My heart was threatened and I could have closed it right up to avoid feeling pain and been thrust into my mind. Which would have been very bad. I would be lost in the realm of Swords and most likely been looking towards the Masculine for all the answers. But no. I am choosing to keep my heart wide open and trust the process which in turn creates a blending of my heart and mind. My masculine and the feminine. That is where the magic happens. That is where the answers lie. 

Notice the butterflies? The same butterflies that flutter through the Death cards... Transformation. 

The Four of Bows is the Four of Air. Mental Peace. Rest. "The Call of the Spirits"

"Crisis that brings about a new equilibrium, a need for a pause, answers that arrive through trauma."

Yup.

I would call this a Faith tester alright. There are solutions to every problem. Most people are stuck in the Physical Realm of the Pentacles and try to solve their problems there. You just can't. You must look for the solution where it started. In Spirit. That isn't a woo woo concept people. Spirit is Fire. Fire is above the Mental Realm. Inspiration that drops into the Mental Realm... then down into the Emotional Realm well before it manifests in the Physical Realm. This is where we make changes. 

And lastly, the Empress. Love will prevail. Spirit and Love. I know a lot of you hear these words and instantly cringe and will write me off as a new age fluffy bunny idiot. If that is so then explain to me how I was able to draw these cards? It is the Truth of the matter. One day I will look back when everything has worked itself out and think... why in the world did I get myself that worked up? I am not alone. I have a whole Universe conspiring to make me happy. Worrying is only going to rob me of precious moments in the now. Speaking of which.... my children just woke up. Thank you Tarot for always being there for me when I need you. Now I can enjoy making them pancakes without having to be a crazy stressed out mommy. 

Life is Good. 

Uranus- Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass

You have to be really honest about your nature. We live in a paradoxical world. There are two sides to a coin. Know Thyself. Most people want to deny their weaknesses. There is power in loving all sides of ourselves.

I am an Aquarius, ruled by Uranus, the planet of rebellion and revolution. Known for its eccentricity and genius. We are visionaries and are quick to adapt to an unpredictable future. That is the good side. I embrace the not so pleasant side as well.

Uranus is known as a Ice Giant. My husband often refers to me as the "Ice Queen".  Uranus is considered a "trans-personal", an extra mundane, spiritual planet, reflecting a function that is beyond one-self and beyond social structures. Often out on the stratosphere I feel alien to those pesky emotions of mortals.

"The general principles of Uranus govern change – abrupt, radical and unexpected change as opposed to gradual and foreseen modifications. Sociologically, due to this sudden quality associated with it, revolutions and all sorts of reform are linked to Uranus. On a more personal level, those people born under Aquarius, or under Uranus’ influence will be rebels - with or without a cause, and at some level in their lives are working towards a progressive and world-shattering change in their environments."

In Tarot I resonate with the Queen of Swords. She sits amongst the clouds in the mental realm. She is the internal process of thoughts. The angel in the seat represents the angelic messages received and the butterfly is transformation that comes with them. 

Long story short people think I am a cold hearted bitch sometimes. Being so calculating I am a master of compartmentalization.  Which makes me an amazing Tarot reader. I create change in people's lives. The message, however, is not always sweet with a cherry on top wrapped in a bow. If you want the hard Truth... then I am your woman... but wear your helmet. 

Don't get me wrong I am compassionate to suffering... but not so much when it is self-induced. I use the Tarot as a catalyst for change. Sometimes.... you have to knock down some Towers. 

Take me as I am or not at all I say. I accept all parts of myself. I know that sometimes my blade hurts. In the past I hated myself for it.... and trust me... others did too. 

Like a doctor one must work on their beside manner. When a person is laying in a hospital bed hurting and the doctor comes in and treats them like a number something is lost. It may be healing... but at what cost? This is something I am currently working on. I am gentle with strangers but I tend to be harsh with the ones I love. Like the saying goes we hurt the ones we love the most. 

My husband is a Virgo. He has the silver tongue. Virgos know EXACTLY what to say to slice right into your heart and push your most insecure button. He is smart and wise... just don't piss him off haha. 

The Empress will show me where my heart is. The King of Cups will show me how to express that love towards others. Always working on myself. The mirror of life is my guide.