Daily Spreadwork January 13th, 2013

"When we want believe the world around us is a safe predictable place we act by trying to control everything around us. What we often don't realize is that control is an illusion, a mental act made either consciously or subconsciously that attempts by our direction to assure that the outcome would meet our personal expectations. Often hand in hand with control comes anger. Anger because the results may not be what we had in mind. Expectation are a sure set to get only what we imagined or less because there is no room in that creative process for anything else to occur. The anger comes from frustration from feeling lack of control. Control is a sure fire way to stay disappointed and also a way to feel more and more insignificant as time goes on."

""You tend to become stubborn and unmoving when it comes to change. Mainly this is because you don't like what you don't know, and the unknown often feels unsafe. If you have received this card it speaks to you of letting go of your fear of change, your control issues and learning to be more flexible."

"Everything that is, was or could be possibly be exists in every moment. All that you ever need is available to you. You are an intricate part of all creation, perfectly and uniquely harmonized to immeasurable possibilities, communicating boldly, and you are being heard."

It is only a matter of time until the storm breaks. Everything is chaos. Nothing makes sense. But me. It is truly an important end and a new beginning. As if today was the first day of the rest of my life. I am letting go more and more and change spares no time re-arranging our lives. 

I am growing. I am growing emotionally in ways that I must admit I have resisted for a long time. 

"She feels uncertain about how she will perform when she is elevated and unsure of whether she can wield her power. She is very thoughtful as she contemplates the future- but all around her are the symbols of her future success."

We bought the house. We did it. There is a old brick post office on the lot just waiting for me to get to work in. I have found my independent since yesterday and now this is for me and me alone. We fear what is great inside ourselves. 

The signs are with you already. I can choose to feel that I am in chaos or I can choose to gain control of myself and do what is right in front of my face. To get in step with the life that is building up all around me. 

The time has come. For change. For something new. Letting go is hard. It is a loss. When it is a loss of love it is even more hurtful. But we grief and then we are that much more free to see the Truth. 

I have a choice right now. I can either choose to feel stuck, frustrated, and hurt or I can choose to see the higher view which I know deep down I am capable of seeing. I can choose to focus on my emotional pain or I can choose to temper them and focus on what could be. Master my thoughts and get excited for what is right around the corner. Use all my power and strength to find peace in the situation. 

When things are taken away from us it only means that there is something better on the way. I have to believe that right now. In fact I think this calls for the big guns. I don't often use them unless I really really really want to hear the Truth. I also think since I pulled the Nautilus Shell Princess and in the picture in my Ammonite I feel it is fitting. 

What does my future hold?

I went to the rock shop yesterday and got more sage and some protection oil. I took my Abalone Shell and crinkled the sage in there. I want to clear these thoughts. I want to clear these emotions. I dripped the oil over the top and envisioned a soap bubble all around me. Get out you little nasties. What is done is done and now it is over. These are my Ocean Oracle. It reveals our true nature. Not for the faint of heart. 

Now it is time to see what my subconscious has to tell me. 

65- Something completely out of one's control; something spoiled. 

44- Looking for the gift connected to the situation; beauty from irritation.

14- Vigilance; keeping an eye out for danger.

108- Being taken for granted; being treated like slave labor; being unappreciated. 

9- Demanding obedience.

"How do you know who to trust when you love everybody?" I suppose if I learned anything from the situation is (like yesterday's message) be careful who you trust. I guess that is one of the sad facts of being alive... but I'm getting better at it everyday.