I will first start out with the Tarot of the Sidhe. I like this deck because I feel like it gives me a glimpse of what my energy feels like.
Warrior King (Gift of Glory), Temperance, and Dancer Ten (Heartsong)
I do feel this way. I am full of Spirit, my heart is singing, although I am making a grand effort to feel this way. A merging is taking place within myself between my heart and soul.
I pull some cards from my Chakra deck and Tarot Of Metamorphosis. I choose these decks because I want to look at what can I work on to help me through this Temperance, this alchemy taking place.
I pulled, Divine Consciousness (Interconnection, Expansion, Oneness, and Light. Family (Belonging, Community, Culture, and Tribe. Creativity (Imagination, Expression, Originality, Passion).
This tells me to focus on my Crown Chaka in regards to my understanding my part of the big picture. Also, my Root Chakra in regards to where I feel I belong. Where I am accepted... where my family is. As well as my Throat Chakra in regards to being myself. Allowing myself to create the life I want by expressing myself.
From the Tarot I drew: Knight of Wands, Temperance, and 7 of Cups.
Again the Temperance card. It obviously has a message for me.
"Temperance balances the opposite polarities of existence in our inner metamorphosis that renews the human being. Pursue the harmony you seek, avoid stagnant situations and crystallization, both mental and material."
As I said before with the Tarot of the Sidhe I am doing just this... trying very hard to maintain a good balance so that freshness fills my day. A little bit of this... and that. This is what will makeme happy right NOW.... even if it is a glass of cold water, a bath, a smoke whatever it may be that you can stop and consciously choose to enjoy.
I know people usually read the 7 of Cups as self-deception and fantasy, but this card today is speaking to meand saying, all this Fire energy I am working with is feeding the passions of my dreams. By choosing to appreciate what I have and taking the time to enjoy the things I do like... I create more fuel, more Fire.
These cards really ping me deeply. I have been trying to find my home in this world all my life. But as a take away, I have found the home inside myself first. I know who I am. What I like. What I am not, and What I do Not like. A journey everyone takes.
Now I want to ask the Tarot. What is my biggest obstacle at the moment for manifesting what I want? Featuring The Fenestra Tarot.
Judgement: Procrastination, Resistance.
Tarot, as always, re-phrasing my question.... What is holding me back?
Ten of Pentacles: What is my issue with Security, Gain, Affluence, Domestic Harmony? Do I feel like there is Family Misfortune? A downturn? Legal Battles Connected to Wills, investments, or property?
YEEEUP.
We have been battling fixing our car and moving into a bigger house to rent. This is everything. This one card here sums it up. Our finances... our debts. Our feeling of security and family harmony. Cause when we have financial issues, it leaks into the family dynamic.
Okay. So what is in my head? The Wheel Reversed. It's all in my head. If this card would have fallen below me, I would know that it is a force I am dealing with in the Physical realm, but here, it tells me that this is a mental issue. Which the Temperance card in my previous draw said, "Pursue the harmony you seek, avoid stagnant situations and crystallization, both mental and material."
Both Mental AND Physical. What starts on the mental plane will eventually make its way through us physcially. I need to keep a close watch on my thoughts about my finances.
What is below me, the 10 of Wands. I am happy to see two Tens right away since they are always a sign that the stage is almost over... the cycle almost complete. This card tells me that we are ready to unload. Ready to put all these hardships to rest. We are ready to get our car back from the mechanic fixed and ready to sell. Which will lighten our financial burden emensly. We are ready to move into this new house with more room... and a DISHWASHER!!!!
LOL.
We are ready to finalize our lives with these changes. We may have had a lot of misfortune, so we think, but the end is soon.
In the past, we have Juggled (Two of Pentacles). Ups and downs. Highs and Lows. Robbing Peter to pay Paul so they say. But now we are ready to walk away from what we have to find something better (Eight of Pentacles).
It sure wasnt easy. Getting to this point of know what it is I wanted. (Three of Wands). In the past I felt quite Lost and wanting someone to come along and tell me what it was.
But all I really want... in the end... Is the Ten of Pentacles. The card even looks like my husband in the picture! lol.
I am afraid for the mess that is about the unfold. That will take a Leap of of Faith on all of our parts (Five of Wands, Fool) but one that will be done (Eight of Cups)... we want this. We need a change. We want better. Event thought with our doubts (Wheel Reversed, Judgement Reversed) We are ready to take the plunge.
The Emperor sneaks in there to tell me that I am putting a lot of Faith into my husband at this time. To trust him to be someone I can count on to make sure all this goes smoothly.
Since I keep seeing that this is truly a strong mental battle I want to pull some cards from my Ancestral Path Tarot. I want to ask it... Since this is a mental battle, change must I change?
So we see the Two of Swords. Re-phrasing my question... what is this mental block??? It answers: Prince of Sacred Circles.
This card acting as the Knight of Pentacles says, "Learning experiences. Reverence for the growth processes made possible through the union of the Sun and the Earth. Can represent one's genetic father, or fatherly role model. A tutot, teacher, or mentor who shares knowledge and wisdom. One who nurtures the young, helping to develop newly planted ideas and concepts"
This card screams my dad. I look up to my dad. He is a good man and very successful. Smart and determined I get a lot of my direction from him. Now Im starting to think that the Emperor in the last spread has more to say that what I originally thought. I have a lot of this energy in my life. Daddy issues. Father issues. Which have an effect on my relationship with my husband.
My father lent us the money to fix our car. Which was mighty pricey. It isnt the first time we have asked my dad for money. I hate it every single time I do it. Tarot you are right on the money. This is where my thinking comes from. My financial issues which comes with the Emperor. Father figures. Husbands. Its all tied up into a big ol knot.
The Prince of Cups tells me that I am not thinking with loving imagination. This Emperor issue in my life has cut my mind off from loving creativity and plunged me into my logic right brained masculine way of thinking.
Below me, Ten of Swords. I always see this card and think about when you are playing a video game. You play play play for days and then finally you get to the end guy and when you beat him he evaporates in a dramatic show like a fatality. The final blowand it is done. I need to just lay this to rest. I am grateful that I have a father who is able to help me out when he can. And, he can. Simple as that.
The Five of Cups in this deck says "Dissapointment, inability to enjoy what life has to offer, immersion in regret or depression, emotional confusion and distress. Also mental illnesses brought on by emotional problems, psychological issues."
Yeah. Again. It's all in my head. (Five of Cups Judgement). I love the Judgement card in this deck. It shows a girl floating up reaching through a portal to an alternate world. A higher dimension. Higher awareness. I use to get all bent out of shape (Three of Swords) over the whole thing. Guilt of asking for more money. Shame that we are unable to get thigns going on our own. But the reality of it is that I need to see something (High Priestess).
The future promises me the Seven of Sacred Circles. This card says "The rewards of hard work. The bounty of the harvest. Communal sharing of food and/or resources. The fruits of labor sustain the community through the winter season. Conservation of resources for lean times."
Three of Sacred Circles: "A craft is mastered when (1) the Body, (2) the Materials, (3) the idea all become one. Ethics and values are consonant with one's lifestyle. Work refelcts values. Balance between work, social, family, and spiritual responsibilites."
This brings me right back to the begining with my Chakra draw. Third Eye, Root Chakra, and Throat Chakra. My creativeness. I feel good. I feel like I drew a lot from my playtime with my old friend. Sorry it has taken me so long.
