I have been diagnosed with epilepsy and adhd.
As a child, I didnt pay attention.
said my teacher.
I was busy looking at everything else.
I may have these things they say I have... but I have so much because of it. Call me an "Indigo child"... defiant, rebellious.... An Aquarius.
There is nothing wrong with me. I hust have different skills... talents.
This school system doesnt know how to handle someone like me. Someone who always seemed to outwit the system.
That's the way it was... after I asked... But why?
No one could ever give me a sound answer to those types of questions. It usually led to a frustrated adult getting upset and just saying BECAUSE.
Here I am 27 years old mother of three and I am now trying to figure out how to navigate them through a world I never felt I belonged in. Tricky.
Doctors would say I have had a lifetime of trauma that led to a lot of dissociation... and I would agree.
Mr. Toad's wild ride my life has been.
But I was always smart... despite what anyone said. This I believed.
Edgar Cayce said that one trait of a psychic is having a condition that one tries to remedy themselves.
This type of introspection leads down gates of healing. Self-actualization.
My road to my self-healing taught me a lot of great knowledge and self-knowledge... try not to confuse the two.
I am smart, Adhd, psychic, crazy? Epilepsy? To which I reply... yes... with a smirk curled on my lips.
I may be all these things, and I am still smiling. Beat that.
My trials of course were not in vain... I now have learned to use Tarot cards to help people through difficult times in their lives. A skill that wells in my heart.
Tarot, of course, was a way to understand myself. Once I understood myself everything else was easy. Being human, I could relate to anyone. The Tarot maps out the human condition and psychological pathways to self-actualization.
But dont put these before God. They are just cards.... and ink.
This is not my power, but a power gifted to me... arranged by the all knowing universe... before I was born.
We often fight our destinies... our destiny requires us to be all that makes us an individual.... and lets face it... indivduality is scary.
It takes guts to be that much yourself.
I let raw my heart and soul for you all... this is who I was meant to be... I am perfect in the divine's eye.
A perfect individual... with all that it took took to make me this way. All the experiences and the human condition.
I wouldnt have agreed to all this pain and suffering unless I felt the prize was worth it.
With all the suffering I know that the reward will be worth every single second of it. Bring it on.
I always knew this... I just got confused along the way... says Alice to the Rabbit.
I won.
Within all of us is a innate desire to not give up. To persevere.
In my eyes persistance is the most important thing you can possess... over everything else. If you are persistant... you will always be trying.
Some people say insanity is repeating behaviors attempting to make a change. That is insane...
You have to change. The world is perfect. With all its grittiness. Its amazing what someone can live through.
Just sit in some AA meetings.
That is our job now... to help usher in anyone who is still learning. Help them to change. Whether you are energy worker, light worker, therapist, doctor, or a guy selling balloons on the side of the road... if you try to take care of others you are okay in my book.
We all find this place. Eventually.
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