Such powerful cards. Powerful energies.
The Tower always frightens me. It is a shock to the system. Your spiritual lungs are not breathing and the bolt it to keep you alive or to improve you.
Either way, it is truly a win win situation.
Despite this, it still scares the crap out of me. Scares me... that's all. That's not too bad.
I can handle scare. Scare wont "Kill" me.
But we avoid it none the less. We will try anything to keep from feeling this kind of lightening bolt.
It takes someone of great strength to embrace the Tower.
The inner strength we have that clenches for the hit. Someone who does not run away and deny.
Strength is endurance, fortitude, persistence, relentlessness...
Not strength by physical, outer force. We do not apply our physical bodies to anything... instead we toughen up spiritually.
Our higher selves take control of our primal, animal-like natures through cooperation....
The beast bows to the woman. The masculine submits to the feminine.
Our focus goes from outer... to innner to fight.
Yesterday I had to go inside myself... in a sense, i was the beast coming inward into myself.
I had a wake up call yesterday that was hard to swollow.
Judgement told me that it was a challenge to wake up and see some kind of habit of behavior or mental habit that needed to acknowledged.
I worry about my oldest daughter a lot. I worry more about her than I do my other children. Because of this, I dont discipline her. I dont spank her, ground her, I barely yell at her.
In return, her behavior was very out of sort. I, however, chose not to see it.
Yesterday, the neighbor brought her home because she told her daughter to "just ignore your mom."
Something was wrong.
I tried to talk-yell like I do to her and she laughed at me the whole time.
I didnt know what to do. I was so confused.
Angry and defeated I ran to my husband. He mentioned that he tries to discipline her and I dont let him.
Judgement time.
Was I to wake up to the reality of the situation or not?
It took every ounce of my inner strength to deal with this one.
I told him she was laughing at me when I tried to yell at her.
And I said it... Go spank her.
And he did.
He came back and I just stood there sizzling from my Tower experience.
Then he said, "you dont like doing that do you."
"NO!" I said.
"why?" he asks.
Because I love her and I am afraid of losing her.
Ouch. What a pull.
I drew another spread.
The what's "affecting me" position had the wheel of fortune (reversed)
I found a lovely exerpt from a website I like: http://www.crystal-reflections.com/tarot2/rider/wheel_r.htm
"If you are a person who always reacts "passively" to whatever life does to you - then this signifies a more important change than just simply a new set of circumstances - it will open the door to a new awareness of the responsibility you have for your own life."
Yup. That's it.
The fact of the matter is, when my 5 four old smart ass daughter laughs in my face when I try to yell at her she needs a whoopin.
I know a lot of you may think wrong of me for my mind set towards my daughter, but I just love her so much. And I worry about her a lot.
Painful words to say.
Painful realization.
Full of love and full of deep responsibility.
Those were some POWERFUL energies at work in my life to make me better. Stronger.
Strength... endurance, persistance, relentlessness. Fortitude.
Was I learning a lesson in life? Or a lesson in Tarot?
Think about it.
How wonderous it all is.
No comments:
Post a Comment